"When The LORD Created Fathers"


When the Good LORD was creating Fathers,
he started with a tall frame. A female angel
nearby said, "What kind of Father is that? If
you're going to make children so close to the
ground, why have you put the Father up so
high? He won't be able to shoot marbles
without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without
bending, or even kiss a child without stooping?"
GOD smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him
child size, who would children have to look up to?"

When GOD made the Father's hands, they were
large. The angel shook her head and said, "Large
hands can't manage diaper pins, small buttons,
rubber bands on pony tails, or even remove splinters
caused from baseball bats." Again GOD smiled and
said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold
everything a small boy empties from his pockets,
yet small enough to cup a child's face in them."

Then GOD molded long slim legs and broad
shoulders, "Do you realize you just made a
Father without a lap?" The angel chuckled.
GOD said, "A Mother needs a lap. A Father
needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, to balance
a boy on a bicycle, or to hold a sleepy head on
the way home from the circus."

When GOD was in the middle of creating the
biggest feet anyone had ever seen, the angel
could not contain herself any longer. "That's
not fair. Do you honestly think those feet are
going to get out of bed early in the morning
when the baby cries, or walk through a birthday
party without crushing one or two of the guest?"
GOD again smiled and said, "They will work. You
will see. They will support a small child who wants
to ride to Branbury Cross or scare mice away
from a summer cabin, or display shoes that
will be a challenge to fill."

GOD worked throughout the night, giving the
Father few words, but a firm authoritative voice;
eyes that see everything, but remain calm and
tolerant. Finally, almost as an after thought, He
added tears. The he turned to the angel and
said, "Now are you satisfied he can love as much
as a Mother can?" The angel said nothing more.

 - Erma Bombeck

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